Meghan

As much as i want to say no to you i cant i keep coming back to you and i dont want to care about you but i do i hate the fact that every time i hear a random song i think of you.  You make me laugh and i feel so comfortable with you making a fool of myself you doing the same thing back.  Last night when we were laying there and we were talking in indian accients made me so happy just because i was finally laughing with you agian.  But i know its not going to last so i think ill just let you go or atleast try because you will find another girl and she will most likely give you everything.  So i wish i could say this to your face but i cant.

This month has been horrible, the choices i made over spring break were amazing at the time and as a secert but as the word got out, i got called a whore slut bitch sloppy everything and all i did was kiss.  My ex bestfriends make fun of me as i walk down the hall way and i lost another two old friends recently.  I started to cut myself after my best friend in the whole world told me that she never wanted to see/talk to me agian.  Only one person knows about the cuts because she is the ONLY person in this fucking world i can trust, sad isnt? Then the guy i kissed over spring break okay ill admit we did more but whatever i didnt loose my virginity but he started talking to my close friend.  I seriously trust people like its no big deal but i have to start stopping that, i need to know the only person i can trust is me.  Also i gained weight i havent eaten much and i made my self throw up.  My sister thinks im the strongest person ever but if only she knew this.